Does absence make a heart grow fonder or sub conciously let u forget about someone?
As the day draw near, I think I got the answer.
But again, is the process of finding it out fair enough to judge?
I knw thgs and perspective might still be changing, by then I might even get a deeper truth.
Nevertheless, at least this period of time I got the answer. At least is on me.
Whatever take place later in the future. Time will tell. God will lead.
Be patience and see :)
As much as I knw that much of truth, guess what I need to do is to close eyes pray and give grace and
Forgive. Only then Life will be so much easier !:)
Now, the minority know what’s going on and know the truth .
The majority only know things from another perspective and if they choose to b judgmental, there’s nth I can do too.
Is always the minority that knows the truth first.
I’m alr contented with the minority tha knw it.
The majority, as mentioned. Give grave and forgive :)
Sometime we jus don’t understand certain people doing and why would they say this or that. So do I don’t understand ur doing.
But like I shared before. Let it be, ans will eventually
Come to u. Cos the more u bother, the more upset u will get. The more u won’t get to know what u want.
However, if u let it be. Let time
And God do the work. Things will reveal and fall in place at the same time.
If u know u had been true to ur own feeling, if u had know what all along what u had been doing then fear not.
Cos ur consinience is clear, continue to be urself. Stand up strong, and let ur actions speaks. People will see ur actions and judge u if what they heard from others is the same as what U had been doing.
If u appear to be different from the words they heard
From others, eventually they will see and feel it. Is human nature, we tends
To believe what we hear and especially what we see.
Ur eyes is the lamp of ur body. So that u may be filled with light and see
Thing more than one perspective that’s why u have 2 eyes instead of just 1 eye too.
No matter what u heard, what u see, what other might had done unto u, or
How they judge u… Be truthful to urself and let ur actions speaks.
Respond and react back wisely .
I choose to respond by leaving all these to God. Only He has the truth, and know what’s
Coming. Only He has the healing and restoration path to it.
Only He knows best what is best for me and the rest.
Hence, I might rant awhile. Ask questions awhile to let it off my chest only- only to my close one and to those I trust.
But later on , I will just keep quiet and wait for God’s place to act upon it according his perfect time :))
Thank God for what I gone through before. For making me go through the hard ways and learn.
Thank God that my trials and tribulations turn out to be a blessing in the end.
If nt for those drama mana past, not for those trials and tribulations I won’t be who I am now.
It’s not easy to handle the emotional hurt/stress, dealing with ownself strength and make it overcome it’s Skeptism.
With all these emotional and mentally stress, physical tiredness join in too.
But I knw, this is not the last me.
I will overcome it all Tgt w God’s str.
I won’t fall this time, this is far from the last me.
When I stand up again, watch me move from glory to glory.
Watch me shine. Watch me moving up to another level of life with Joy.
This is far from over :)
Friends who watched me and grow up with me seen me through my worst days.
I’m make strong cos of those weakness in the past.
Now, the weakness will say I’m strong.
I won’t fall, I won’t allow myself to explode.
But I will allow myself to overcome, to stand strong Tgt w God’s strength.
Again. This is far from over!:)
Another thought flash through my mind.
YsT night I was so tired that I sit beside the window on my bed, lookin out of the night.
I wanted to Do some stonning but the question just come into my mind.
” dear God, can u tell me why one of the attribute for love is enduring and hence we have to go through the Hurt and pain sometime? Shouldn’t it be something sweet always?”
Then HS remind me with the story of Jesus.
John 3:16 and said ” Jesus suffered so that all man’s sin can be clear and man lead a new life and live again”
Even though it was suffering too, but the ending always turn out to be sweet, isn’t it?
I got stunned for a moment, and I’m like… ” oh. Ya uh. “
I told God and ask Him again..
What should I do. Cos I really miss that person. I didn’t deny any fact from that person. I’m speaking the truth. Just that I didn’t mentioned the details of the truth.
Few days more, and the date is drawing nearer.
How fast time pass from the first day we know each other.
As each time passes by, the absence indeed make my heart grown fonder.
I know, as each day draw nearer, and even till the day pass by . I knw the yearning to miss that someone Might fall deeper.
Perhaps it might and my doubt of does absence really make a heart grown fonder or it just rely On time to forget sub conciously forget that per.
There’s another friend that I miss alot too.
I was browsing through my phone photo gallery.
The memories just came through my mind.
Those who don’t fully understd what’s going on might think im selfish, avoiding, or even heartless enough to let go.
Sad to say, no. Friendship has been the most thing in my life .
Frankly speaking, I don’t avoid matter.
I wish at times I can behave that way too , but I knw it will only ruin my life.
Talk things out w me and I will too
That’s my style.
Well, when times I don’t say anything ( hardly) doesn’t mean im avoiding or tryin to shoo u off. It just simply means it isn’t the right time or I hadn’t even confirm how to deliver the convo yet . But no matter what at the end of the day, I will still Talk To u
Another thing, there are things we
Might neither admit not deny. For example
Knowing u like someone yet u deny.
Knowing you can do it yet u tell urself u cant.
If just simply make us do a lot of hold back decisions
But no matter what u do; at the end of the day u just have to be truthful to urself . At least be true to ur own feelings :)
Love is more than just a feeling, but rather a choice.
One fine night. I was resting on bed.
Suddenly,A question pop in my mind and I ask God.. “dear God , why does love have to endure? Isn’t love suppose to sweet all the way?. Why go through the pain?”
And HS ans, John 3;16.
Tellin me did Jesus died on the cross went to the Calvary so that we all can be save and start anew again?
Love endures and have to go through obstacles so as to test how firm u are.
Even if it go through pain, at the end of the day u will get what u had sow, it will be a sweet ending.
Of cos; again that depends on if u are loving the right way.
As much as I know I will go through those obstacles again. This time round may God’s wisdom and strength to be upon me. That may praise be my weapon.
Many people love people differently.
For friends who knw the ” she” that is gg through what now.
Do understand,that’s just her way of loving him. Just like u and I had those moment before :)
Just woke up, and am still v tired!
Migraine taking over again. Shall blog before I rest awhile more.
The last time I woke up this early to be on bus was quite sometime back
The moment I thought of the reason I would woke up at this timing or evening earlier,it just bring open up my scar to the history. A very expensive lesson that I learned how to see things in a v realistic way. A lesson that even when you went bankrupt money can’t be buy over, money can’t be healed.
Then I thought I could divert my attention to listen to some songs.
And it randomly play because you love me.
As much as that expensive lesson reminded me of that history,
At the same time it reminded me of how God make thing all right for me.
I got reminded how He made all the wrong to the right, how disobedience I am, He is still there.
I got reminded of How much anger, disappointment and a moment of doubt about Him, but He never prove me wrong. He nv really disappoint me.
He still answer me, patiently wanting to speak to me to see the truth in His lens
So merciful, that he renew everything for me. So faithful that when I thought He had forsaken me, but He never.
He is there with me till the end, await for His perfect time and show me miracle.
Giving me the strength that I need to stand up again.
Miracles He performed, thgs He show me is far more beyond that i can ever imagine.
I give thanks and all glory to Him.
I believe greater thgs are yet to be done, and greater things are still coming :)
Three random
Thing that has been on my mind. So still counted at random? LOL.
1.There are many thing that can’t be deny nor admit.
There are so many thing the more u try to find a reason, the more u can’t font it.
Sometime there are Something which u wished u had never hear of it.
Sometime you got misunderstood, or people just don’t get ur intentions, yet u choose to keep quiet.
All these little things add up to many things in life that are unexplainable.
The more you try to find An answer, the more you don’t understand.
But when you choose to let it be, let time be, answer will eventually
Come to you one day.
Sometime In crush, like and love.
I had wished some feeling would just stop at crush or like.
So I can use up the little bit of sparkling energy quick and let it vanish- just like a firework stick.
But i know that isnt the case. Also,I understd love is stages of endurance.
There’s a day, One of my friend’s mum, whom I love and respected too was driving me.
She shared w me ” Ai Qing Shi xu Yao jing guo mo Lian de” -True love need to go through obstacles.
Yes, hence love is endurance, and u need patient, kindness to overcome it.
2.Sometimes the way I see u handle matter, ur attitude towards on handling stuff and many other parts on how u behave is just simply a reflection of me. Whr I don’t say a word doesn’t mean I knw nth.
As much I want to knw more abt u, I don’t like it that I can read ur next action and whats on ur mind sometimes.and I’m always right!
I don’t knw If is good or bad. But I know that’s irony.
I guess that’s amazing part of the human ya?
3.As much as these are in my thought. I have my own dream to focus on now.
I’m really grateful to have friends aroun me who keep supporting me and pushing me.
Willing to be patience, understanding and guide me.
My best guy friend understand my dream. I believe he is the only one who understand it till now
I cried over for my dream before, i nv know I will.
I thank God for letting me meet friends who have the same passion as i do. Friends, who are pushing me, and motivating me, helping me.
The one who have been pushing me knows what’s my obstacle and why I’m holding back. Thank God I reconcile back with her ;)
The other gf who know my weakness has been helping me whenever I need corrections.
I should seriously stop defying my own strength, only then the potential can be further release and move up to another level. Shd Confess power of positivism!
Will share more about my dream in the next post :)
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