MR - Mini reflection :)

I used to believe that what’s meant to will be, and what’s not will never be..
But I came to realize that everything has a choice.
You can choose to make it happen, or just stop it.
We have the power to make a choice.

If one really loves u, dont worry of losing him.
He will come back to you even when he goes off.
If he doesnt, then be glad. Cos you see another side of him, and u know this earlier before you all
even settle for a marriage path.
You might feel terrible, thinking he had rather let you be on your own thinking and let you down.
But the more you try to find out certain things, the more you cant get an answer. Even if you gotten
the answer,and try to debate with your points, 99% is still gona be the same result,or even worst ending.
Let it be , let it be.
The more you persist for it, it will just turn the other party off. At the end of the day,
one word- disaster. He wont feel much, but end up is only You suffering when he is preparing to be
ahead and going to move on.

Hence,while waiting,All you can do is to have faith, and confident in that person even when he is
gone for sometime.
If he comes back to you, all are worthwhile. It just shows how much he is worth of your love.
He knows who is the one that truly cherish him.
If he doesnt, dont regret of having faith and confident in him.
If he doesnt, then that’s his problem. He doesnt know how to appreciate it.
He just dont dare to give it a shot lke you do.
Gal, u are much more courageous than him in this case.
Cos u had tried all u can to give him a love that win all. If he is smart enough he will know how
precious you are. How much a person like u cherish him. He will be smart enough too, to know such
person are hard to come by.

Dont feel degraded cos you had given certain things, or give up certain things for him before.
Cos all had already happened. By feeling remorseful, i remember a clinical pyschology said before the
more you feel guilty over things u had done, you will fall back for the same things again.
Cos your mind is focusing on what you dont want.
Hence U have control on
how you want to think about.And not fall into depresssion.
Just remember, next round guard urself properly. If you had been through many rounds and doesnt
work, it doesnt mean u are a failure in this. Just that it is a practice, and u need more practice. You will get stronger.
All things take practice.

Be proud of yourself that at least u arent like him giving up.
At least u were true, and sincere. You didnt let him down like he did to u.
Just play ur part, time will give you an answer.

If one is sensible,sensitive enough. They will know who are the one that truly loves, cherish and
appreciate them. If they think themselves of unworthy of being cherish by you,it can be an
excuse or they are just plain silly and self pity of themselves.
They had not understand how much or what kind of love you had given to them that it means to win
ALL.

imagequotes:

✿ | requested by: hannahkay~



I used to believe that what’s meant will be, and what’;s not will never be..
But I came to realize that everything have a choice.
You can choose to make it happen, or just stop it.
We have the power to make a choice.

If one really loves u, dont worry of losing him.
He will come back to you even when he goes off.
If he doesnt, then be glad. Cos you see another side of him, and u know this earlier before you all even settle for a marriage path.
You might feel terrible, thinking he rather let you be on your own thinking and let you down.
But the more you try to find out certain things, the more you cant get an answer. Even if you gotten the answer,and try to debate with your points,  99% is still gona be the same result,or even worst ending.
Let it be , let it be. 
The more you persist for it, it will just turn the other party off. At the end of the day,
one word- disaster. He wont feel much, but end up is only You suffering when he is preparing to beahead and going to move on.

Hence,while waiting,All you can do is to have faith, and confident in that person even when he is gone for sometime.
If he comes back to you, all are worthwhile. It just shows how much he is worth of your love.
He knows who is the one that truly cherish him.
If he doesnt, dont regret of having faith and confident in him.
If he doesnt, then that’s his problem. He dont know how to appreciate. 
He just dont dare to give it a shot lke you do.
Gal,  u are much more courageous than him in this case.
Cos u had tried all u can to give him a love that win all. If he is smart enough he will know how precious you are. How much a person like u cherish him. He will be smart enough too, to know such person are hard to come by.

Dont feel degraded cos you had given certain things, or give up certain things for him before.
Cos all had happened. By feeling remorseful, i remember a clinical pyschology said before themore you feel guilty over things u had done, you will fall back for the same things again.
Cos your mind is focusing on what you dont want. 
Hence U have control on how you want to think about.And not fall into depresssion.
Just remember, next round guard urself properly. If you had been through many rounds and doesnt work, it doesnt mean u are a failure in this. Just that it is a practice, and u need more practice.
You will get stronger.
All things take practice. 

Be proud of yourself that at least u arent like him giving up.
At least u were true, and sincere. You didnt let him down like he did to u.
Just play ur part, time will give you an answer. 

If one is sensible,sensitive enough. They will know who are the one that truly loves, cherish andappreciate them. If they think themselves of unworthy of being cherish by you,it can be anexcuse or they are just plain silly and self pity of themselves.
They had not understand how much or what kind of love you had given them that it means to win ALL.

imagequotes:

 | requested by: hannahkay~

I used to believe that what’s meant will be, and what’;s not will never be..
But I came to realize that everything have a choice.
You can choose to make it happen, or just stop it.
We have the power to make a choice.

If one really loves u, dont worry of losing him.
He will come back to you even when he goes off.
If he doesnt, then be glad. Cos you see another side of him, and u know this earlier before you all
even settle for a marriage path.
You might feel terrible, thinking he rather let you be on your own thinking and let you down.
But the more you try to find out certain things, the more you cant get an answer. Even if you gotten
the answer,and try to debate with your points, 99% is still gona be the same result,or even worst ending.
Let it be , let it be.
The more you persist for it, it will just turn the other party off. At the end of the day,
one word- disaster. He wont feel much, but end up is only You suffering when he is preparing to be
ahead and going to move on.

Hence,while waiting,All you can do is to have faith, and confident in that person even when he is
gone for sometime.
If he comes back to you, all are worthwhile. It just shows how much he is worth of your love.
He knows who is the one that truly cherish him.
If he doesnt, dont regret of having faith and confident in him.
If he doesnt, then that’s his problem. He dont know how to appreciate.
He just dont dare to give it a shot lke you do.
Gal, u are much more courageous than him in this case.
Cos u had tried all u can to give him a love that win all. If he is smart enough he will know how
precious you are. How much a person like u cherish him. He will be smart enough too, to know such
person are hard to come by.

Dont feel degraded cos you had given certain things, or give up certain things for him before.
Cos all had happened. By feeling remorseful, i remember a clinical pyschology said before the
more you feel guilty over things u had done, you will fall back for the same things again.
Cos your mind is focusing on what you dont want.
Hence U have control on
how you want to think about.And not fall into depresssion.
Just remember, next round guard urself properly. If you had been through many rounds and doesnt
work, it doesnt mean u are a failure in this. Just that it is a practice, and u need more practice. You will get stronger.
All things take practice.

Be proud of yourself that at least u arent like him giving up.
At least u were true, and sincere. You didnt let him down like he did to u.
Just play ur part, time will give you an answer.

If one is sensible,sensitive enough. They will know who are the one that truly loves, cherish and
appreciate them. If they think themselves of unworthy of being cherish by you,it can be an
excuse or they are just plain silly and self pity of themselves.
They had not understand how much or what kind of love you had given them that it means to win
ALL.

I know v day is coming right~ LOL! Recently , I had encountered a few questions from friends. No matter how the question is being phrased, is the same.
Asking why am I single, why didn’t I accept and reject, and how would I feel if I saw the one I once loved is already attached.. Would I feel upset or anything ?

Lol ! I’m like… why can’t I be single? Why should I accept ?
Of course, I’m praying to be like any other gal who desire to have a good partner and r/s. however, not this period of time .

Actually, all these doesn’t matter to me right now. It’s the least impt of all.

2 reasons to it.
1, I believe my best friend and those
Who are v v close to me will know why now .

2, I want to put my full focus building my own life, achieving what I want, and helping my family first.
I had shared More abt all these on my personal blog :)

Why should I feel upset or unhappy if the one I once loved gotten their own happiness? Already said, once loved. No matter how upset I am, it won’t change the fact, they will still be happy w their own life. By Feeling upset, imma just going Against with myself which I won’t want to:)
干嘛要跟自己过意不去 right!
Hahahah! But does that mean anything more? Nope, i can only say in my heart they still stand a position as friend. I only love them as friends.

So honestly speaking, I feel NOTHING ;)
If I really were to feel something deep in my heart and say something Now,
I will say ” Thank God, this is the ending ;)”
I understd what’s meant to be will be.
I will thank God, me and the one I once loved are not Tgt now.
God has now open up our eyes to the things unseen and lead us from foolishness path to a path of happiness, a happiness that belong to us and it should be :D

I won’t feel unfair, or have any injustice feeling, cos I know this is God’s plan.
He will bless me, is just a matter of time :)

Had came across this powerful love prayer While reading a blog
( wow31.org written by susan)
Susan had shared many insightful stories and sharing :)

This is the prayer…

“God, I have proven myself to be foolish in the area of relationships. Today I want to bet on You no matter what the chance and the odds are. Make me your testimony and be my Matchmaker. Make me a living proof to Christian women that You are still our provider especially in the area of relationship. Close my eyes to all the wrong relationships and open them when the right one and the right time has come.”

Amen :)

First post of the year , of the month feb :)
Despite all the roller coaster rides, I Had end my last day of Jan and round it well with the presence of my best bro, Hanafie !:) 

Month of Jan was not just a hectic stressful, and sleepless month cos of work stuff, but also a month that I think God is expanding my capacity of stress and testing my patience at the same time. Shit happened last min, such as laptop spoilt a few time near project submission date etc. etc. not Gona bring all up, it’s over :) 
Is a new beginning !! 

All I can say for month of Jan is that is just a month to test my endurance, perserverance, self reflecting of mistakes(when similar thg occurred), and a chance for me to apply my lesson learned :D yay!
Stress and patience capacity had indeed expanded ! And it will continue to expand, so I can handle it well in the future too :) 

Oh yay! Is a leap year :) 
Most imptly,from this month onwards till the end of year i believe it’s Gona b  a good good year :))

It’s a  superb epic moment w Hanafie, and ! I hope our next plan will run smoothly… Hahahha 

I will say I End my jan well with a heartfelt and heartwarming meeting w best bro! Which symbolize a good welcome of feb ;) 

revelation this year!
“delight urself in the lord, and he will give you the heart of your desires” :D 

Amen :)

First post of the year , of the month feb :)
Despite all the roller coaster rides, I Had end my last day of Jan and round it well with the presence of my best bro, Hanafie !:)

Month of Jan was not just a hectic stressful, and sleepless month cos of work stuff, but also a month that I think God is expanding my capacity of stress and testing my patience at the same time. Shit happened last min, such as laptop spoilt a few time near project submission date etc. etc. not Gona bring all up, it’s over :)
Is a new beginning !!

All I can say for month of Jan is that is just a month to test my endurance, perserverance, self reflecting of mistakes(when similar thg occurred), and a chance for me to apply my lesson learned :D yay!
Stress and patience capacity had indeed expanded ! And it will continue to expand, so I can handle it well in the future too :)

Oh yay! Is a leap year :)
Most imptly,from this month onwards till the end of year i believe it’s Gona b a good good year :))

It’s a superb epic moment w Hanafie, and ! I hope our next plan will run smoothly… Hahahha

I will say I End my jan well with a heartfelt and heartwarming meeting w best bro! Which symbolize a good welcome of feb ;)

revelation this year!
“delight urself in the lord, and he will give you the heart of your desires” :D

Amen :)

Was kinda distracted as i was busying with my own stuff halfway. As usual,got distracted by a song. A song that totally describe my mood.

Before you read on, there wont be any perfect grammatical or so ever in this post.
And it’s gona be the longest post ever.

I know the time wont stop, and the world will continue to revolve even when one person’s world is falling down.
So,turn it up and keep moving. Dont stay there, if not you will lose even more things.
When you look back, you will realized how much you had missed.
I understand this very well.
So many round and rounds of winter season in my life, I know what i lost and i know what to cherish even more.
But along the way, i had forgotten something. Or rather, i didnt forget, but I was confuse.

Confuse by the word Sincere.
There’s a girl who use to believe in this word “Sincere”
No matter how realistic this world can be, how much hurt she gotten from people in her world…
she keep believing the words Sincere and love will move someone, so she keep on forgive and forgive people who hurt her before. To the extend she can forget what incident caused her to be so hurt given by some people - In short, she learned how to forgive and she really forget as time pass by.

However, after so many years, can i say that she some senses has knock into her mind?
Time to be realistic. Time to protect urself from any hurt.
Her gf once told her
” You must not fall and give up urself.
Cos at the end of the day even when the whole world break apart, you only left with your own soul to survive. So you must hang on.”

After a few more round,guess she had finally let it all out.
She decided to protect herself from anymore hurt.
She rather the hurt is given by herself, than to let anyone hurt her.
She learned that when she get angry, or unhappy about any stuff she have to just rant it off.
But not let time heals, and keep quiet. And not swallow everything down her pipe, letting it digest,choke then wash it off and restart again.
You know, in a nutshell is like ” urgh. ok breath in and out. Forget it , dont pursue and forgive”
oh well, she dont know how she managed to do so.
This world is so realistic. She once thought Sincere and Love can win it all.
Really?

To protect herself, she push away a girlfriend whom she know for sometime.
Even though they know for sometime, but they seems to be on good pal.
Her generosity towards a friend shocked her.
It’s a reminder how she was like before, and she got shock because does such person really still exist?
She text her one night that she has to leave her, this selfishness of hers hurt that gd friend.
She knows it inside out. She doesnt feel good either. Read further on, and you will know why she still do so even though it doesnt feel good.

These few days, she met a new friend.. now supposedly friend.
She doesnt know him very well, but from what she know him…
His actions, the way he behave. His sincere,his helpfulness reminds her or how she was like before few years back.
Really? Is there such person exists on this realistic world or she hadnt know him well yet to see if his sincere and helpfulness are really true.
However, sad to say, she push this friend away by saying harsh words to him.
push him away by acting a childish side of her, by changing his impression and do stupid stuff. There are 2 personal reason why she have to do so.
Words she use on him are like scissors in her hands.
Yet, she know he is innocent, he know nothing,nth at all He is really innocent.
There’s no script to follow, so she just close her eyes
That way it won’t hurt so much, when she say goodbye to him.

Friends who walk out on her managed to reconcile back with her.
A friend whom she cherish years ago, and kept praying to God for a reconciliation.
God is good, and ans her prayer.
yea, the outcome is good.
They talk about make up,fashion, girls, boys, love, any little simple things.
They seems to be able to talk everything out under the sun.
They might had little tiff, but it’s always rainbow after the rain.
Things even the she cant stand about that gf, she managed to rant it off and be on good pal with her few days later.
They seems to be able to understand each other thoughts, and guide one another yea so and so
~

Is this a miracle, or an irony?
Really? Sincere win in this realistic world?
She is a very Optimistic girl before, she know she has the ability to look at things in more than one perspective.

But now she really know there’s a need to protect herself.
Will there ever be someone to come and break free this heart of hers that’s gona get hardened as each day goes by. Time when she know she want to concern for someone sincerely, she hold back. Too much to take it.

All of a sudden too many doubts and confusion.
She is walking on the high wire alone.
too much that her heart is like a circus, too much to take it.
Why God place these friends around her.
is He trying to tell her… you are not naive. you are not silly. you are not dumb. you are not the only one.
There’s really such person existing in this world?
is He trying to remind her how she was like before and stop behaving this way to protect herself. Cos its not gona work?


Now can anyone tell this girl…
The way she was like before, being sincere and love everyone.
A girl who can be angry, but choose to control and not rant it off.Yet, she Forgiving and forget the hurt…is this naive in this realistic world? Is this dumb? Is this stupid? Is this silly?
And that’s why people can climb over her everytime?

Does it even matter?
Will anyone every appreciate even when the whole word shatter?
Will there ever be someone to come by and show her the truth ?
She needs to see, hear and feel again.

SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE the intention of leaving anyone.
She cherish friendship, she cherish everyone that come by her life.
Even a friend who stop by for awhile, she will welcome and appreciate that friend.
but now what’s becoming of her as she is confuse by all the doubts and trying ways to protect herself.
If there’s even any hurt, she wldnt allow anybody to hurt her in anyways
Whats becoming of her?

She use to be able to console people, empathize people and give people advice, care and concern whenever they are feeling down.

If she sees a hurt she will try to heal it
If there’s a need, she will try to meet it.
That’s how she try her best to treat her friends and love ones.
Again, what’s becoming of her?

Now i pray, i pray for her…

Dear God you need to and i believe you will open up this girl’s eye to the things unseen and her ears to the things unheard. Set her faith, even a mustard seed size faith will do.
Let her know the truth, feel the sincere and love that was once within her again.
Let her know , Let her see, Let her feel, Let her understand and Let her to able to speak to this world or even the people around her again. Speak about hope and love
(this was what she speak about always before she learned how to be so realistic and protective to this extend)

There are many thing u nv know if u don’t try.
When u try it , u knw how it feels.
First time In my life trying such thing is no joke. I won’t ever let it happen
Again. Never ever .
Cos I understand v well, is sickening disgusting and childish.
Something are worth the take to try, and step out of comfort zone. But I guess, never for what I had done again. I’m sober; and have the ability to see things in more than one perspective always.
Hence, yes. To this.. Never ever again.
I’m sorry,’if i Had changed to a realistic person than ever.but I learned. Sometime in life u just gotcha say goodbye and let it go, beta than holding on when u already know is a bye.

I had learned too, what’s meant to be, eventually it will be. Be it u make
Thing happen or it happen with the flow. If is means to be, it will, in anyways.

I had learned how to be protective myself. Yes,! To some people imma over protective. But that’s me nowadays. I have to. Cos at the end of the day.
No matter how many friend are there for me to support me: it still lies within myself if I want to stand up, and is still lies within my own soul do I really want to pick myself up .friend can be there for u always , but there’s always a limit .
I had learned, how to keep things within myself. And think of a solutions rather than Dwell on it.
I’m glad to this matter, I finally find a solution to it

I might sound nasty at times, but bear In mind. No matter how realistic I become,imma not a mean person as it seems to be.
For this once, I will explained and state this.
For those who truly know me, they will understand me and know what’s truth going on in me. Perhaps not totally; but at least majorly as a friend.

Anything else further, I’m not Gona mentioned anymore further. If u want to know anything, Ask me. If u are worth for me to share with , I will be honest and share with u.

Have you ever wonder how it feels like when two different world on the same earth come together and form an amazing r/s( friendship,
Romance or so ever) ?

I don’t know, it can be common…
But, to me it feels like a miracle.

It’s really amazing
When the world go spinning,
At the same speed, same time daily
And when we are revolving together with this world
We are in two different poles, and seems to be living in two different world experiencing different timing, different seasons , different culture and happenings.

Is a kind of earthly unexplainable amazement.
At the end of the day we get to meet,
Get to talk, get to share,get to party together.
Isn’t that beautiful?

At the end of the day, wether if to make the r/s work out ,be it any r/s.
It all depends on how much commitment and effort you have.
Just like how the world spin endlessly years after years despite rain or shine .

To be continue…

Girlfriends, and close friends who knows ask me this question.

" what’s ur benefit for helping that per?"
” what will u gain? What if that per doesn’t even bother?”
” what’s ur motive for doing so?”

Ironically, this is the first time
Those close friends would ask me such thing. I know they asked, Because they see no reason why I should do so much.
The reason I have is not strong enough. To them, I’m just being silly I guess.

Nope, no benefit.
Nope, I gain nth.
If that person don’t care, then let it be.
Nope, no ulterior Motive.

Wait, even if I have one ulterior motive and that will be that person “end product.”
Seeing the person transform from stages to stages for the good. Do u call that as a ulterior motive? If so, then let it be.
If u are asking me again, what’s the motive behind the motive… Then I can tell u nth at all.

Why shd I even ask for something when Helping someone with all I can.
At least in this case, I ain’t.

If I were to ask for one thing when I help someone, I would asked for God to continue expand my capacity of cos i would praY for wisdom to do so :)

I may not be the best, I may not be a pro. But I will try my best. Most imptly, I want to do it out of sincerely.

Ps: I have not done such thing for so long,for years. but in this case.. I’m once again doing it. I pray may I see all thing through His lens, and not just based on all the earthy thoughts. Cos there are many thing not all earthy reasoning: and logical ways can explained.
I pray as I do so, my heart will open once again too :)

Does absence make a heart grow fonder or sub conciously let u forget about someone?

As the day draw near, I think I got the answer.
But again, is the process of finding it out fair enough to judge?

I knw thgs and perspective might still be changing, by then I might even get a deeper truth.

Nevertheless, at least this period of time I got the answer. At least is on me.

Whatever take place later in the future. Time will tell. God will lead.
Be patience and see :)