MR - Mini reflection :)

As much as I want to b upset w u, thinking back, maybe my attitude towards u is wrong.
All along, I just want to be at the backstage.standing behind the curtain,appear only when u need help. But that night, the heartbreaking moment just make me feel so disappointed. Maybe I shdnt even talk to u, maybe my approach, my appearance from the back is at the wrong time. I try to understand u are not feeling good too.

That Night i witnessed the happiness, and heartbreaking moment.
Immdiately, I know whr I stand.
Thus that explained why Is it hard
To believe I’m impt to attend. “What are words if u don’t mean them when u say them?”
I heard from people what u said to them. it doesnt tally to we discuss.
I can never win u in playing with words.

The most heartbreaking part for me was, whenever ur friends feel that u can’t change.
U hv no idea, how much strength, how much courage and effort I stood up and tell them u can.
The courage to stand up against the odd, is more than u can imagine.

Each time when I heard those comment abt u, my heart gt discouraged.
Then, each time again and again. I thank God for the str that my heart is strong again to speak up for u.
Is hurting to hear someone comment on a person u have so faith in.

I have nv really stood up for a person to this Much before.
Cos I feel there’s smth deep in u, I can see and sense it that not everyone can;And is unexplainable.

Even when ur love one comment the same thing I hv to stand up with double the courage, and tell them “with God u can be transformed”

I nv have so much faith unto a person before. Never.
Thank God for the strength.

I don’t expect any return, nor pin any hopes.none.
I might not be the perfect person for u to talk to when u need a pair of listening ears .
I might not be a v v v understanding girl.
I might not have high capability or pretty compared to other ppl u knw.
I might not be the ideal one in anyways.
But I will just be at the backstage.
Standbying whenever u need help. Whenever u call for help.
Once my task is done. I will be contented that I did my part and back To the stage again.
I will only appear when there’s a need to.
My concern will be concealed.
All my feelings are tell In this song.
If there’s a miracle for us, I thank God.
If there isn’t, still I will thank God for this learning process.

I seriously dont knw what’s on ur mind. Ok , or rather whats really deep In ur heart and how u feel.maybe u might thinking negatively? I don’t know.I really hv no idea; maybe I am just a small small little ant in ur life. If one day I decided to burst everything abt how i feel deep in my heart then that’s it already.

If one day I had decided to leave,
I will leave wo a word.
But my faith in u still remains.
Even when I’m helping u, I will be at the end of the other world where you won’t know is me.
I will pray that when I appear again I the future, I will see a great different man who have release all potentials in his life and character. Wherever I go, u will be in my prayer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy7us4wlmP8

In this society, there are many people out there who are practical and realistic.
There are people who choose to pursue their great dream and ignore
How realistic this society can be.
Despite all the practicality, and realism,
Their courage of pursuing their dream bring them far. Further than we thought it can be sometimes.
For example, the invention of the air plane.how realistic is that? Making something fly and wanting it to be able to carry someone from one end to the other end . At that time, how many people mock at the inventors. Yet, they ignore the mocking . Realistic term are there to disencourage them. Giving them many reasons why they can’t invent such thg. Still, they made it at the end of the day.

Oh well, I’m not really Gona go into how realistic or practical of this society. But rather, in terms of human’s heart.
Was chatting w friends nowadays about everything and that include love.

I saw this quote in twitter…
“If you love someone, distance isn’t an obstacle, because you’re close in heart”-TiffanyWilliam

I was reminded of a chat about distance relationship with few friends.
True enough, or rather to a large extend distance r/s is hard to maintain.
We, as human thinking in rational and realistic term eventually give us 1001 reasons why is it hard to maintain, and hence it become part of our perspective and had the mindset.
Having such mindset, naturally our actions will carry out according to what we think.

I do agree, those 1001 reasons are
Fact.
But again, what’s realistic?

Look from another angle again, whenever someone is In love, one party is always willing to do so much thing or even something beyond their means for their love one.
No matter how rational you can be, you wil still do at least one crazy thing for that someone.
More extreme cases, you might even willing to sacrifice ur life or something impt for ur love one.
Realistically, logically, you know ur life is precious . You know you can’t afford to lost ur impt thing just that like to the other someone, even when you don’t know how long will both of u last.
You know this , you know that. You know so much thing of what you should and should not do. YET! There are time u wld just risk it and do. Because u love that someone.

When the other party hurt u so badly, you know u shd let go. Rationally, u knw u shd wake up! Stop falling deeper and just walk out.There are so many people out there in the world and you will find someone beta.You might keep hoping ur love would eventually chg that party to a better person but Realistically, you know is not a 100% succeed way.
However, love blinded u.you ignore and go ahead.

There are so many things that even though u can explain in realistic term.
But, are those realistic explanation really realistic? Especially when it comes to a human’s heart whereby there are full of emotions when we sometimes couldn’t even explain by words.

Realistic term are there to guide us and lead us . But, are u a v realistic person or someone who ignore abt it an just ahead and do what you want.

I feel that, at the end if the day.. Is still abt how you balance the realistic life and the attitude of what your heart really wants to do.

Is there any situation whereby you had decide to follow ur heart and do something that even though u knw is crazy and yet u still do it? :)

Is how amazing little simple thing can be.
A simple moment, like kids playing in the playground can just simply make u feel nostalgic and Bring Remembrance of ur childhood can bring a smile on to ur face.

A simple hug can make u feel good of that day
A stalk of yr favourite flower can lift up ur mood
A simple catch up with friend can bring In so much laughter.

So many simple things that can simply bring u a smile or even let u amaze at it.
I’m amazed by how a simple glass bottle of wine and liquor can contain so many meaningful stories behind!now I kinda understand why ppl like to keep liquor and wine or even study at it.

Sometime simple thing in life, or a thing that look very ordinary can bring u to a world full of amazement or simply brighten up ur day. :)
Have a heart of openess, you will realize how simple and beautiful life can be :)

There are so many things in life, and you never know what will come next.
Next second, there will be someone passed away.
Next second,there will be new born cry
Next second, there will be good news.
Next second, there will be bad news that just toally pull down your whole day.

Life is really unpredictable.
As much as u can plan, u can never make sure things goes in ur way.
As much as u don’t wish to know or hear certain things, there will be some happening that will eventually reveal it to u
How much can really one control the situation?
When you can’t control the situation, there’s always one thing you can control; and that is your response.
How you want to react to it. How you want to respond to it. Do you choose to react or respond? Be it ur reaction or response, it will either worsen or beta up the situation. Yet, this is the only area you can control and have the power to it. So, handle this power you have wisely.

Yesterday, There’s this moment that I had witnessed. I turn away inmediately.
Initially, in my mind was I don’t want to know. Cos I don’t want to see.
But the next min, I saw that moment which I don’t want to. I turned away to other side, and I see it again… Contiously 3 times.

Tears almost roll down. Heart immediately break apart into pieces
The tiny soul inside me suddenly feel so weak.
Then I paused, took a deep breath.
I did not react or response toward what had happened by approaching the situation.
Rather, as tear going to flow Down, I took a deep breath and cool down.
I bought ice cream to perk myself up. I pray immediately.
I’m a Christian, and I believe in prayer for all kind of situation.
I immediately pray for God’s str to pour down and strengthen my heart. I pray for expand of capacity that i am able to face such situation. I pray for peace and healing. I might had reacted to the situation by almost wanted to cry, and later on I response toward it by using prayer and buy ice cream to Cheer myself up.

For I know keep dwelling on it, crying on it can never solved the issue or help me forget what I had witnessed that moment.
And i know my response and reaction after that still have the power to help me feel beta ; and hence beta up the situation. If I keep dwelling on it I knw I will worse the thing and make it more complicated.

Thus, even though you might not control the situation but u can always control your response, and you have a choice to choose to react or response to it and how :)

In our life, there are so many people that come and go, only a few stay on.
As the world’s standard move from one level to another, more and more competitions in all aspect of life
and society are coming up too.

As you meet more and more people around you, things can either can go in a good way or bad way.
Good,because you can expand your social network and you can gain benefit from one another. Or best, foster a r/s and build a good friendship.

Bad, because you never know what will happen if that person happens to be someone who will obstruct your ways to success, demoralized you, pull you down or even worst.

There are people around you who are so competence in terms of look,ability, management or even the overall.
And there are times is either you admire their charismatic, and what they have.
Or you even feel so incompetence when comparing to them.Then you started feel so frustrated over yourself, thinking why cant you be like them?
As you continue to drown on such though., Sub consciously, you start to self pity or even dislike yourself.
Work you produced, you will NEVER be happy with it.
Because to a certain extend, you had been indoctrinated with those negative mindset.
Hence, whatever work you produced that comes into your eyes and mind will never be pleasing.
UNTIL, you got ASSURANCE that your work is good. and that ASSURANCE has to come from someone who has the rank,authority or a person whom you know is very direct.
If not, you will just simply feel that people around you saying “yea is good”, “excellent” are just entertaining you and motivating you.

Oh well my personal opinion is…
Yes,we are human. We do have feeling and get affected when things happen.
But ! We human, most of us tends to focus on our feeling and what had happenED.
Instead of focusing HOW (solution), we always get controlled by our emotions, dwelling on the incident.

Hence, instead of keep thinking so and so is competence.
so and so is really smart and capable etc. I feel so incompetence, cmi.
or am i even that worst in the first place?
Why not think other way round and direct your focus instead.
Stop thinking you are CMI , but start working on it and learn from that person to see how you can improve it. Or, start coming out with a plan about how you can go around improve on it based on your own studies and use the so and so work as reference. Reflect on where go wrong, and what could be done better.

Personally,i feel that the weapon to defeat all these thoughts is 2 things.
Willingness, and Humbleness.
Have a Thick Skin, and Thin Heart.
Have a Thick Skin, be willing enough to ask and learn. Have a thin heart that is humble at all time to be able to receive what others teach you,and comment about your work.
So long as you are willing to put down yourself, thick skin enough to approach people,ask and learn from them, you will keep on improving.
If by learning from people will make you feel awkward,shy then your progression will be very slow.
On this earth, we are always learning from one another. Even when you learned from books or online, those are written by other people too.
And if by allowing people to critique your work will make you feel like you will lost your pride/ego,
then you will never improve. Because you never get to know where your work stand.
End up, people around you might just entertain you and said “excellent work” when is not.Wont that be more unrealistic, and worst?
Hence,have a thick skin and thin heart.

If u really wana do well in smth, don’t drown into other ppl’s thoughts. You can never please everyone in this world. Neither do this world revolve around you forever.
Their thoughts is a weapon to demoralize u. Use humbleness and courage as ur weapon to defeat back. Stay humble and willing to be thick skin enough to learn as mentioned
Again, Have a thick skin, thin heart.

As I was saying earlier on, there are so many competitions going around in our life, society in our world.
At the end of the day what satisfied us is not only the effort, but the reward too.
Talking about reward, what type of reward are we looking at?
Physical and materialistic reward, or reward that are unseen and yet we can feel that it is a success?

Let say entering a competition whereby your prize(reward) is won a pair of ticket to Paris.

To me, Yes, is human nature for me to get excited for it and wanting to aim the reward initially.
However, when i get serious with my work in the competition i will have a different focus.
To me, is NOT totally about the reward anymore.
But rather, how well can i produced my work.

For me, in a competition, reward is motivating and of course i would love to win it.
However, my heart and focus would not be on the reward.
I would put my focus and heart on the work and processes instead.
Because i know, at the end of the day, i would truly be satisfied and happy when my work is of quality and productive. I would truly be satisfied and happy even though i didnt win any prize, because i know i had put all my heart, thoughts and sincere into it. I know my effort is in there and is pay off. I would truly be rejoice when i know work i produced is out of sincerity and with efforts.
Rewards, are just like an incentive.

The reason why i did not put on my focus on to the reward, because i believe what you reap is what you sow.
How can you even reap when you hadnt even sow?
And i believe if i put my focus on the reward, sub consciously i will get distracted.
My full attention wont be put on to the progression of the work.

I believe in setting your heart, mind on the right focus in order to get a real and sincere reward.

The most sincere reward you can ever get, is looking at the quality work you put in with all your thoughts,heart,mind and soul.

Hence, set your focus on the right track, and then start walking towards the finishing line.
No matter what you do, dont stop halfway. Even if things arent going your way, keep on moving.
Giving up halfway, meaning is already confirm dead. But if you keep moving and moving toward, there is always a glimpse of hope down there. Just like when you are walking in a tunnel, dont stop but keep walking and you will sure see a light that lead you the way out.
Thus, no matter what you do, be of good courage and do not dismayed. Be of a good finisher !
Sometimes, is not always about the process but also about how you end the path too.
You may not have a good starting, but you always have the right to choose where you want to land your journey :)

HOPE :
Have. Only. Positive. Expectations

Eyes are the light of our body
Our body is the lamp
Eyes light up the lamp, so that we know where we are walking to.

What we perceive through our eyes goes into our brain and produces
Images.
Hence we trust on things based on what we see.

Look, our eyes is just one of the sources to help us see how
This world work. But it doesn’t given us the ability to understand how it work.

We have 5 senses, other than eyes. We do have sense of hearing, taste, smell and touch.

To fully understand a situation, we need our sense of hearing and touch.
They are like the left right hand helper of our eyes.

If we only judge based on what our eyes perceived wo hearing a single explanation , then what are words for?

If we only judge based on we hear, then what is the light ( eyes) in our body for?

If we only judge based on what we see and hear, then what is our sense of feeling for?

Similary, even though the eyes is the lamp of our body, and show us the direction where we are walking.
However, when we walk we don’t just walk straight all the way just because our eyes see a straight path.
We walk with understanding on to where we are walking. We walk with feeling( telling us if it is
The right direction) with hearing ( what we hear in our surroundings)

Thus, lets not be judgemetal.
Let’s not just judge based on what we hear and see.
Judge with wisdom and understanding.