In life there are so many things that keep moving on and changes. People come and go. Love fall in and fade away.
What is the one things or one person that caused you to change, and is it worth ur change?
This kind of behaviour i am at, this kind of attitude, this kind of treatment is toally so unlike me. I Dont do all these stuffs, I dont react this way. I dont do anything that i am not suppose to do now. In another word, is just not me.
That one things or one per that caused me to change to this state, is not worth it at all. I know if this goes on nobody can stand me, nobody can take it. No one. Not even myself now.
I am fully controlled by flesh, this is not me.
Then who am i, who i should be?
Cheerful, vibrant, Noisy, open minded, understanding, playful, wilful , goal orientated and more.
But now i am quiet, i am always paranoid, more insecure than ever… what’s going on?
I know if i dont get back on my feet , i know if i behave this way, my world would turn into a lonely darkness environment .
Nobody can help me overcome it, nobody can help me untie the knot, nobody.
Not even the person or the thing that caused me to change.
Only I, myself with God can reverse my own universe to the right position.
I cant stand the way how i caused ppl to be tired, how i treat the ppl ard me, even if i did not do it intentionally.
As much as i hope someone will understd and feel me, I knw is hard.
Cos ppl dun knw what u are going through until they go through it themselves.
Dont expect anyone to understand what you are going through, see for yourself what you are going through first. Understand urself first and work things out from there.
Be there for someone else, if one day u met someone who go through the same thing as u do.
Friends are thinking my changes is cos of a per or a thing. But still, so what if it is?
At most i can only say thanks that it happened, so tat i can deal this side of myself… so that i can grow and learned in life. Only then Life will get better.
Need to be away and get away to deal whats within me.
I pray… I can be pull myself up and really be back who i should be.